


White Picket Fences

by cynatnite



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst, Blackmail, F/M, M/M, Non-Consensual, Pre-slash Starsky/Hutch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 20:43:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1278283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cynatnite/pseuds/cynatnite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starsky's early days with Hutch isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Watch out for this train wreck of a fic. It'll knock you on your ass because of it's trashiness. Enjoy or hate...it's up to you. </p>
<p>BTW, this thing is about 10 years old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White Picket Fences

Starsky pulled himself to a sitting position in the bed and wiped the sweat from his brow. A lit cigarette was held out in front of him. He paused for a moment before taking it. Starsky watched his bed partner cross the room and head to the bathroom.

He took a long drag from the cigarette wondering why he was even smoking. He hadn’t picked one up since he got back from Vietnam. Starsky supposed maybe this sexual encounter was more intense than the others. He knew there were other factors involved, but refused to think about them.

Starsky finished off the cigarette and reached for his jeans. By the time he had slipped them on, the shower was off. His lover opened the door and headed to the other side of the bed. Starsky kept quiet as he found his socks.

He didn’t want to talk. Just didn’t see much point in it these days. Things were changing and he could feel it. Starsky didn’t want to admit it.

“We’ve still got an hour before we have to head back.”

Starsky looked over his shoulder and then back at his socks. “I need to get a start on some studying. I’m having a hell of a time with the bookwork.”

“Hutch will probably help you through. He usually does.”

Starsky could hear the resignation in the voice and he stopped what he was doing. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

John Colby sat down in the chair and started slipping his socks on. “Come on, Starsky. You can’t tell me that you don’t hang around the blond just because of his mind.”

Starsky reached down and picked up his shirt which had been dropped to the floor. “You know he’s been our best friend since day one, Colby. Never realized you had a problem with that.”

“I don’t have a problem with it. I guess I let myself get in too deep with you.”

Starsky slipped his shirt on and stood up. He turned around looking at Colby who finished with his socks. “What are you saying to me?”

Colby stopped what he was doing and leaned back in the chair. “I know what this was supposed to be with us. I knew that when we started this. We come to this hotel to blow off some steam and have a good romp in the sack. It was never supposed to be more than that.”

“That’s all it is, Colby. It can’t be more and you know it.”

Colby smiled bitterly and shook his head. “Yeah, I know. But it happened anyway.”

“What happened?”

Colby shot up out of his chair. “I fell in love with you, damn it! Do you think I planned on it, Starsky?”

Starsky sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. “You have to get over it, John.”

Colby took a deep breath before sitting back down again. “I’ll get over it alright. I’m leaving the Academy.”

“What?” Starsky was floored by the statement. “You’ve busted your ass to get where you’re at. You and Hutch are fighting to graduate at the top of the class.”

“Well, he’ll win.”

“You don’t have to leave.”

“Yes, I do. And it’s more than because of how I feel about you, Starsky.”

“So tell me what else it is.”

Colby reached for his shirt which had been lying on the table. He held it in his hands before speaking. “I know the truth, Starsky.”

Starsky took a hard swallow. “About what?”

“Don’t do that. I couldn’t take you lying to me.”

Starsky looked down at his hands and played with the pinky rings on his finger. “How did you know?”

“It didn’t take long for me to figure it out. I can’t take being here knowing how I feel about you and that it’s not me you want to be with.”

“I like being with you, Colby. You know that.”

“You like being with me, but you don’t love being with me. Big difference, pal.”

“Did you tell anyone?”

Colby chuckled. “You mean did I tell Hutch? No, I didn’t tell him. If that golden boy found out that you were in love with him he’d run to the nearest exit. You know how straight laced he is. Besides that, he’s got that fine looking wife of his.”

Starsky stood up and walked to the end of the bed where his shoes were. He sat back down and picked one up. He looked down at the shoe and back at Colby. “Yeah, well Hutch is going to ask questions about why you’re leaving.”

“I’ll talk to him. Give him some good excuse about a job offer that I couldn’t resist.”

Starsky started putting his shoe on ignoring Colby who was staring at him. He reached for the other one and began untying the lace on it.

“Starsky, you do realize if Hutch were to get wind of how you feel about him he may go to the commander with it.”

Starsky didn’t look at Colby. “No, he won’t. Hutch has been our best friend since we got here.”“Hutch is also very loyal to that book of regs we’ve been studying since we got here as well. He believes in doing everything by the book. Gay cops have no place on the force.”

Starsky shot a dark look over at Colby. “I’m not gay.”

“I know you’re not. You’ve conquered everything with boobs and a skirt on since I’ve known you. But it won’t look that way to him.”

“He’s not like that, Colby.”

“You willing to put your future as a cop and your friendship on the line with him to find out?”

Starsky paused for a moment repeating the question over in his mind. He clenched his jaw and finished putting the shoe on. He stood up and headed for the door grabbing his jacket on the way out.

John Colby leaned back in the chair and smiled. He wanted to make damn sure he was the last man to ever be in Starsky’s bed and he knew he had accomplished the feat.

He hadn’t lied about the job offer. Colby had been offered lucrative employment overseas but he knew his friends would never understand since it wasn’t exactly the kind of job one advertises. He loved Starsky. Colby had no problem in planting the seeds in Starsky. No other man would have Starsky but him.

~*~

Hutch heard the book slam shut on the other side of the room and looked over at Starsky. He sat on his bed with his head leaned back against the wall. “Jurisprudence is a real bitch.”

Starsky smiled a bit and Hutch set his book aside. “You miss him, don’t you?”

“Well, it’s taking some getting used to. I thought the three of us would graduate together.”

Hutch sighed and swung his legs to hand off the bed. “Yeah, I know. He didn’t say much about this job he got. Did he tell you anything?”

Starsky hadn’t even considered asking Colby what he was planning on doing. The whole conversation hung heavily in his mind. He looked over at Hutch and even with his blond hair as short as it was, he loved the look on him. The tender blue eyes were searching his own. “No, he didn’t. Maybe I should’ve pressured him about it.”

“He was pretty closed mouth when I spoke with him.” Hutch stood up and walked to his small desk. “I can still remember the first time we sparred on the mats.”

“Yeah.” Starsky smiled at the memory. “You and he were toe to toe all the way with that karate stuff.”

“I still think he could’ve beaten me.”

“Maybe one of these days you’ll find out.” Starsky shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sure we’ll see him again.”

Hutch grabbed a pencil and sat back down on his bed looking across at Starsky. “I was thinking about something.”

“Watch out, Blondie. I’m hoping to steal some of those brains of yours.”

“Starsky, what do you think about us becoming partners one day?”

Starsky was speechless for a moment. Hutch had become the best friend he had ever had in his life in the short amount of time they had known each other. Even though he was in love with the guy, he didn’t want to make any moves which would cause problems for the friendship which he valued above the love he felt.

He couldn’t put his finger on when he had fallen for the gorgeous blonde, but one day when the three of them were sitting on this very floor, Hutch had laughed and smiled. Starsky felt like he had gotten knocked over by it. Hutch’s bright smile had lit up the entire room and he knew then.

Starsky scooted to the edge of his bunk. “Where’d this come from?”

“You don’t want to?”

“It’s not that, Hutch. I’m just trying to figure out why you’d want to be partners with me.”

“Oh, come on, Starsk. You are one of the toughest streetwise guys I know. Plus I honestly believe you’d give your life for me. I’d give mine for you, buddy. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had in my life and I can’t see us not being partners.”

Starsky was overwhelmed by Hutch’s admission and he wasn’t sure how well deserved it was. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that, Hutch. I can be a real pain in the ass, you know.”

“Oh, I know.” Hutch grinned and Starsky’s stomach flip flopped. “I can take your rotten eating habits and your womanizing ways if you can take my fanatic exercising and my pursuits of healthy eating.”

Hutch stood up and crossed the room. He sat on the bed next to Starsky. Hutch put his around Starsky’s shoulders and looked at him. “I just have this feeling that you and I are going to need each other a lot.”

Starsky gazed into Hutch’s serious blue eyes. The same feeling suddenly swam around his heart. Starsky knew he couldn’t say no to him no matter what. “Yeah, I wanna be your partner, Hutch.”

~*~

Hutch had Starsky’s arm over his shoulder when he reached the front door of his small house. Starsky’s right arm was in a sling and his right foot was also heavily wrapped. Hutch managed to open the door and help his friend inside.

 

“Almost there, buddy.” Hutch managed to get Starsky to the couch and helped him sit. He sat down exhausted from the task and looked over at Starsky. “Are you hurting?”

 

Starsky shifted his arm in the sling and grimaced. “Just a bit.”

 

“I’ll get changed out of my uniform and pick up your prescriptions.” Hutch pushed himself up from the couch.

 

“Hutch, this really isn’t necessary. I’ll be fine at my place.”

 

Hutch unbuttoned the shirt of his police uniform and looked down at Starsky. “No way, dummy. You’d wind up crawling around on the floor with your shoulder and foot screwed up. Plus I don’t trust those bevies of beauties in that black book of yours. Some of those have an IQ the size of my shoe.”

 

Starsky grinned a bit as Hutch headed back to his bedroom. He looked over at the front door coming open. Vanessa stood in the doorway with all her beauty giving him a cold look. Yeah, she hated him and Starsky was glad. He hated her right back.

 

Vanessa closed the door and glided past him heading into the bedroom. He heard the slamming of the door and in less than ten seconds he heard voices coming from the bedroom. _Yep, she was pissed_ , Starsky thought. He would normally have been glad of it, but he wasn’t since he knew the reason why.

 

He sat on the couch another few minutes listening to them wishing it would end. Hutch appeared in the living room carrying his jacket. “I’ll be back in an hour. I have to stop off at the station for a few minutes.”

 

“Hutch, I don’t want to cause problems for you and Vanessa.”

 

Hutch gave Starsky an indulgent smile. “Everything’s fine, Starsk. She’s okay with it now. Besides it’s only for a few days anyways.”

 

Starsky watched Hutch leave and he laid his head back on the couch. God, he didn’t want to be in the same room with that woman alone. Before he always got a kick out of riling her just because he never liked the way she treated Hutch. She wasn’t good enough for him.

 

He would make a point of talking about his sexual conquests in front of her and when invited Starsky would bring over a beautiful woman that rivaled Vanessa’s. He would flirt shamelessly with her purposefully ignoring Hutch’s wife. Starsky got a kick out of making her squirm and she knew it.

 

He looked out of the corner of his eye at Vanessa who headed into the kitchen. A few minutes later she walked into the living room and made herself comfortable on the chair across from him with a wine glass in her hand. She took a sip and gave him a tired look. “So what happened to you?”

 

“Got shoved off a fire escape by a perp. Seems the guy didn’t like the idea of going to jail.”

 

Vanessa lifted the glass to her lips. “Who would?”

 

“Listen, Vanessa. You and I both know it won’t be easy with the two of us here in the same house for the next couple of days. Let’s just make the best of it for Hutch’s sake.”

 

She took another sip of her wine eyeing Starsky carefully. Her eyes narrowed a bit and she slowly stood up. She set the glass on the coffee table and sat down on the couch sliding in close to Starsky. “Tell me, Starsky. Does Ken talk about me?”

 

“You think I’m going to tell you the dirt?”

 

Vanessa played with the sling on Starsky’s arm. “Well, maybe if I knew more of what was going on in my husband’s brain, our marriage might be better.”

 

Starsky removed Vanessa’s hand and looked squarely at her. “You’d have to ask him.”

 

She extricated her hand from Starsky’s grasp and kept her focus on her target. Vanessa’s glee was in her dark eyes. “I’m just wondering if there are certain areas of our relationship he discusses with you.”

 

“Hutch don’t kiss and tell. You should know that.”

 

Vanessa reached down and ran her hand along his thigh. “You and I have never gotten along, Starsky. I don’t see why we can’t start trying now. For Ken’s sake.”

 

Starsky sighed not reacting to her touch. Normally a beautiful woman would make a move on him and he’d be raring to go. As much as he loved Hutch, he still had a healthy sexual appetite for the opposite sex. He made sure of it since he knew Hutch would never feel the same about him. Starsky accepted things as they were. “You’re just not my type.”

 

Vanessa’s laugh was silky and she leaned in close to him. She moved her hand carefully upwards and Starsky was looking forward to her seeing his body would never respond to her touch. “Oh, I think we’re better matched than what you realize. If you really knew how well, you’d probably want to find out for yourself.”

 

Starsky shook his head and sighed. He looked over at Vanessa and saw the cunning look in her eyes. “Lady, I don’t go for icy bitches like you in my bed.”

 

Vanessa would not be deterred. She ran his hand up to his crotch and leaned in closer. She was confident in her touch and she was determined to get what she wanted. “Ken says I’m fantastic in bed. He loves the things I do to him.”

 

Starsky shifted uncomfortably on the couch and moved his gaze away from hers. The images in his mind of Hutch neglected to notice the subtle movements of her hand. “The few times I do give Ken head are the most erotic moments of his life. He loves it.”

 

God, he hated her. The bitch was denying Hutch pleasure just so he would be thankful for the little bit she deemed to give him. But his body betrayed him by reacting and Vanessa pounced. Starsky jeans were unsnapped and the zipper was coming down. He reached over and grasped her hand and his cock bobbed enjoying its sudden freedom. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Vanessa? Hutch walks in and sees what you’re doing…”

 

Vanessa had a sexy Cheshire smile on her face and looked at Starsky. “Oh, come on. You are hard as a rock, Starsky. Didn’t take long, did it?” Vanessa pushed his hand away and before he could stop her, she had her hand on his stiff erection. “I know the exact place on Ken to touch and he sees stars. It’s just under his balls. I’ll stick my tongue right there and it practically sends him to the moon.”

 

Starsky almost groaned aloud knowing the precise area she was talking about and he could feel his blood growing hot and he knew his cock had grown harder in her hand. The images of Hutch spread eagled in front of him wrapped themselves tightly around his mind refusing to budge. He felt a hot warm mouth on his cock and Starsky groaned. When he looked down he realized it wasn’t Hutch’s mouth on him, but the expert mouth on his cock was doing its work and doing it well.

 

He could feel tears burning his eyes and he closed them to keep them from escaping. Starsky’s hips began moving up into her mouth knowing he couldn’t stop and the erotic imagery was fixed in his mind and heart. He prayed for a quick release but realized it wouldn’t be coming soon.

 

Vanessa was good at blowjobs and she knew it. She had practiced enough because she knew it was power. The power over men wasn’t a necessity to her. It was a pleasure and this one was even more so. The thought of Hutch walking in on them filled her with excitement and daring. She knew if she dragged it out too long, Starsky’s hard cock could grow limp and she wasn’t about to let that happen.

 

She reached in with her free hand and grasped his testicles tightly. Starsky’s seed erupted in her mouth and she greedily drank it all down enjoying the salty taste. She sucked every bit down letting him know it was her doing the pleasuring and letting him know that she had him. He was trapped in her web and she loved it.

 

Vanessa raised her head and looked at Starsky in triumph. His eyes were filled with remorse and hatred. She smiled as she stood. Vanessa picked up her glass of wine and drank the wine swallowing the remainder of Starsky’s taste which had been left in her mouth.

 

The next few days seemed to drag at a snail’s pace. Vanessa never made another move towards Starsky for which he was thankful. He felt uncomfortable in the same house with her and he felt a jerk around Hutch who was being the best friend he always was.

 

Vanessa made sure Starsky noticed her seductive playful nature when Hutch was around. She put on a grand show for Starsky and he hated it. He hated the fact that Hutch was enjoying her flirting and seductive games she played right in front of him.

 

Finally Starsky could take no more of it. After two nights he insisted on going back to his apartment and Hutch was reluctant to agree. Starsky just told Hutch he was tired of the nursemaid treatment and wanted to go home. When he was finally settled in his own place, Starsky sighed in relief thankful not to be around that woman.

 

Two weeks later, Starsky was back on full duty and back in the swing of things. He hated sitting still and he hated being on the sidelines. His partner was close to retirement as was Hutch’s and both were looking forward to the day when they could finally hit the streets together.

 

Rather than take a night out with a girl, Starsky decided to stay in to relax. He had eaten earlier with Hutch who was eager to get home to his wife. Starsky had gotten to the point he tuned Hutch out when he spoke of her. He had the stereo on to some relaxing music and was reading the instructions on building a model ship when he heard a knock at his door.

 

Starsky set the instructions down and headed to the door. He sighed heavily after opening it and seeing who was standing there. Vanessa glided past him in the ways she always did when she was in the presence of other men. Starsky closed the door and gave her a dark look. “What are you doing here?”

 

Vanessa slipped her jacket off and laid it on the back of the couch. She looked around at Starsky’s apartment before looking back at him. “I told Ken I needed to see a friend.”

 

Starsky walked further into the room and put his hands on his hips. “Lying to him now? I would imagine that it’s nothing new for you.”

 

“Nor you either.” Vanessa’s grin was seductive and she moved over to him.

 

“I didn’t see a reason to tell him about what you did.”

 

Vanessa laughed softly and she crossed her arms. “I can imagine he wouldn’t be too thrilled with you either if he did find out what **we** did.”

 

Starsky was getting tired of this game already and his patience was running out. “Is that why you’re here? To blackmail me into your bed? Lady, you better sure as hell better have a helluva a lot more than a blowjob to do it with.”

 

Vanessa moved in closer to Starsky who didn’t budge from his spot. She ran her hand up his chest and rested it on his shoulder. “You should think about it, Starsky. I know a few tricks that would blow you away. Ken loves what I do to him in bed when I make all the moves.”

 

Starsky had that uncomfortable feeling again and this time he carefully moved away from her. He walked into the living room and picked up his beer from the coffee table. Starsky took a long drink from it and faced her. “You must have a hell of a lot of faith in your abilities, Vanessa. But trust me. What happened between us was a one time deal and it won’t be repeated.”

 

Vanessa’s laughed was seductive as she sauntered over to him. She had a hunch and she was going to play it. She had nothing to lose either way. Vanessa stood close to Starsky her sly eyes meeting his own. “Do you have any idea how sensitive Ken’s nipples are? I thought women’s were more so than men’s, but his are extremely responsive to the touch and to the tongue.”

 

Starsky could feel his body growing heated when he thought about running his mouth across Hutch’s chest. He gripped his beer tightly hoping she couldn’t see what her words were doing to him. “Get out!”

 

His words were firm and Vanessa almost felt intimidated by the smoky look in his eyes. She had to keep going. She had to be sure. Vanessa took a chance by reaching over and running her hand lightly over Starsky’s crotch. She could feel his erection starting to grow. “Do you want to know what really turns him on more than anything? He loves having his ass played with. I’ve stuck two of my fingers inside of him and it turns him into an animal.”

 

Starsky’s cock immediately surged with heated blood and he felt her grasp it tightly. He pulled himself away from her and swung away from the gleeful look in Vanessa’s eyes. “What in the hell do you think you’re doing? Why are you doing this?”

 

Vanessa ignored the furious questions and leaned against the couch. “I was right, then.”

 

Starsky swung back around and stared at her fearing the worst. When he heard her low chuckle his heart hung in defeat.

 

“You want him, don’t you?”

 

Starsky turned away from her and he took a drink of his beer. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“I had to be sure, Starsky. I talk about Ken and what he’s like in bed and it turns you on. I know you’re not gay. No man could take the number of women to bed you have and be gay. But you do want Ken. It’s as plain as the erection you’re carrying around.”

 

She was right and Starsky knew it. He was still unsure about what she was planning to do with this piece of information. “So when are you going to tell him?”

 

Vanessa came up behind Starsky and put her hands on his shoulders. “I’m not telling him anything, Starsky. At least not yet.”

 

Starsky closed his eyes. The price for her silence was coming next. Starsky finished off his beer and set it down on the coffee table. “Why don’t you just spit it out, Vanessa? You want something from me and I have no idea what it is. I’m not Howard Hughes.”

 

Vanessa crossed her arms. “Oh, I know that. Money is not what I’m interested in right now.” She stepped in close to Starsky and looked up into his dismayed eyes. “When I gave you that blowjob, I had such a head rush knowing I was doing it with a man who I wasn’t married to and knowing Ken could walk in on us. It was fantastic.”

 

“Just tell me what you want,” Starsky said impatiently.

 

“It was an orgasmic high, Starsky. Like a free drug that I didn’t have to pay for or worry about it ruining my body. I want more of it.”

 

Starsky laughed and shook his head. “I’m sure there are any number of men you can find to fill that little void.”

 

“But not Ken’s best friend.”

 

Starsky was ready to explode and he could feel his temper getting ready to grab a hold of him. “You fucking bitch. You want to screw me so you can see how close we can get to getting caught by Hutch! You can count me out, lady. I don’t go for that kind of game playing.”

 

“Suit yourself, Starsky.” Vanessa turned away and picked up her jacket. She started for the door and stopped. “But remember this. If I happen to let it slip you’ve got the hots for my husband, it not only ruins your career but his as well, which would be no great loss to me. Maybe he’ll actually go to law school.”

 

Starsky had a thunderous look on his face at the sound of her threat. He knew what she could do and it would only take one short conversation to destroy all of their lives.

 

“God damn you!” Starsky stormed over to her and yanked the jacket from her hand. He put her up against the wall and wrenched her skirt off. Starsky pulled the underwear from her and picked her up. He held her against the wall as he undid his jeans.

 

He plunged himself inside of Vanessa and humped angrily inside of her. Instead of fighting him, Vanessa wrapped her legs around Starsky and enjoyed the rough treatment he was giving her. It only took a few minutes for him to come inside of her.

 

When Starsky finished, he stepped back and fixed his jeans. He turned his back away from her hating himself more than ever. “You can leave now.”

 

Vanessa smiled in satisfaction as she picked up her things. She quickly dressed and righted herself. “I’ll be back.”

 

Starsky heard the door close behind him and after a minute he walked into the kitchen. He pulled the bottle of scotch down determined to wipe the memory she had given him away with as much alcohol as he could. Thankfully, he didn’t have to work tomorrow.

~*~

The second time she came back was less than a week later. Vanessa realized that Starsky wouldn’t respond to her touches as before so after some mentions of her bedroom life with Hutch, he then came to life for her. She loved the power over Starsky and took full advantage of it.

 

She was dressing and Starsky sat on the edge of the bed smoking a cigarette. He had picked it back up much to Hutch’s chagrin. Vanessa looked down a Starsky and sighed. She knelt down putting her hands on his bare knees. “Oh, don’t look so glum. You enjoyed it as much as I did.”

 

Vanessa stood and walked around to the bed. She sat down and began slipping her shoes on her feet. “It does hurt a woman’s ego when her partner is thinking of a man to get excited.”

 

She stood and left Starsky to his own miserable thoughts. He couldn’t keep this up and he wondered when it all would break. Starsky wondered when she would grow tired of this game. Hell, for all he knew her next proposal would be a threesome. He couldn’t imagine the innocent blonde going for such a scheme, but knowing Vanessa she could very well manipulate Hutch into it.

 

Starsky then set about trying to dissuade Vanessa in varying methods. He had turned down a few dinners with them and then finally wound up bringing a girl with him. He tried using his tactics as before, but found them useless. Vanessa knew his game now and she retaliated with one of her own.

 

Vanessa would be coy and flirtatious with Hutch. One time she practically had the guy panting at the dinner table. Vanessa flashed Starsky victorious looks letting him know she could play it as well as he did.

 

The next few weeks passed with Vanessa continuing her visits with Starsky proving her power over him. It was after their affair had started, Vanessa began taking bigger risks. One time Hutch and Vanessa arrived unannounced at his place. Hutch left to take a leak and Vanessa’s words and hands brought Starsky’s body as erect as a flagpole.

 

Another time when Hutch had left them to run a quick trip to the store for a bottle of wine, Vanessa quickly mounted Starsky and they had sex on the couch. Hutch walked into the door just as Starsky was snapping his pants. He had never gotten a chance to chew her out over the risk. But when looked at her, he knew it would be pointless.

 

The breaking point came when Starsky was taking a shower at the station. It was late and the showers were emptied out. The locker room was silent and Starsky was at his locker with a towel around his waist. He heard movement behind him and when he turned, Vanessa was there. She pulled the towel from him and proceeded to give him a blowjob on the spot.

 

Starsky was nervous as hell and after her urgings, he climaxed into her mouth. She finished up and tossed the towel at him on her way out. Starsky slowly turned back to his locker knowing there was nothing he could do about it at this point.

 

He was lost in his own thoughts and didn’t hear anyone approaching him from behind. Starsky felt a sudden warm hand on his shoulder and nearly jumped to the ceiling. He swung around and saw Hutch. “Jesus, Hutch! You scared the hell out of me!”

 

Hutch held his hands up. “Hey, sorry.”

 

“That’s okay.” Starsky sat down on the bench catching his breath and looked up. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Van and I are going out to a club tonight. We thought you might like to come?”

 

_No thanks. I already did_ , Starsky rebuked himself. “I’m pretty tired tonight, Hutch. It was a rough shift.”

 

Hutch could see the exhausted look in Starsky’s eyes. He sat down next to him. “Starsk, are you okay? You haven’t been yourself for a while now.”

 

Starsky offered a weak smile. “Just been hard at work, I guess. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Hey, I know you and I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time together. Van’s been busy and I’ve been taking up the slack at home lately.”

 

Starsky’s interest was piqued. “Busy? What’s she been doing?”

 

“She decided to go after her masters. Van’s been taking some night classes.”

 

Starsky’s thoughts turned to the nightly visits as Hutch rambled on. “I don’t know what they’re teaching there, but she’s been great lately. We don’t fight like we used to. Starsk, you know I don’t say much about our sex life, but I can’t help but tell you that it’s wild now. She comes back after those classes and she practically drags me to the bed.”

 

Starsky turned back to Hutch and slowly nodded. He wasn’t surprised by it at all knowing her as well as he did now. But Starsky needed to talk to someone. “Hey, I’d better finish up and get out of here before someone decides to make me work another shift. I’ll see ya’ later?”

 

“Yeah.” Hutch stood up and stuck his hands in his pockets. “I’d better find Van. She’s probably scouring the building looking for me. Starsk, if you want to talk, let me know. Okay?”

 

Starsky stood up and gave Hutch a pat on the shoulder. “Yeah, buddy. I’ll see you later.”

 

After he was gone, Starsky grabbed his clothes and quickly dressed. Vanessa wasn’t seeing him that much to account for the bullshit story she told Hutch. This was his chance to get rid of the manipulative bitch once and for all. He was going to pay a visit to a friend of his and get the goods on her.

~*~

The plan was set in motion and what made it worse was the waiting. Starsky knew Vanessa would tire of the game she was playing. She thrived on the risk taking and the power she played on between him and Hutch. Once she tired of it, Starsky knew the risk of her opening her mouth grew. She would not only destroy his friendship with Hutch, but she could ruin both of their careers with one word.

 

The next few weeks, Vanessa continued taking huge gambles in the ways she approached him. Starsky had to keep it up long enough to get the goods on her and he began taking on a more active role in their encounters. He hated it, but the risks were too great. It seemed they were coming closer and closer to getting caught.

 

It had been almost three weeks since his conversation with Hutch in the locker room when he finally got his delivery. Starsky had never been so relieved in his life. On her next visit he would drop the bomb on the vindictive bitch. It could backfire on him, but he had enough to put her in her place once and for all.

 

Vanessa finally showed up a few nights later. She walked through the door unannounced and dropped her purse on the couch. She started for Starsky who stood in the kitchen. He gave her a quick smile and sidestepped her advance.

 

Vanessa put her hands on her hips. “What gives, Starsky? It’s a little late for you to have second thoughts.”

 

“I’ve got a gift for you, Van. I thought it was time since we’re so close.”

 

She crossed her arms impatiently as Starsky left the kitchen and walked into the living room. “Well, I don’t have a lot of time. I’ve got a late night flight to catch.”

 

Starsky paused and looked over at Vanessa. “Taking a vacation from all your extra curricular activities?”

 

Vanessa’s eyes narrowed as she walked into the living room. “If you must know, I’m leaving Ken. I know where the trust fund is his family set up for him. I figure a nice piece of it should keep me rather comfortable for a while.”

 

“You left him? Just like that?”

 

“Be realistic, Starsky,” Vanessa spit out. “I’m not going to sit around and be a cop’s wife. I left him a note.”

 

Starsky sighed knowing Hutch would be calling him. That’s what she did. She set it up because Hutch would be calling him while they were going at it. _Well, not anymore_ , he thought. Starsky leaned over and picked up the small photo album. “Your gift, sweetheart.”

 

Vanessa ignored the Bogart imitation in his voice. She gave him a suspicious look and grabbed it from Starsky’s hand. She opened it up and her eyes grew large at the pictures. Vanessa clenched her jaw and slammed it shut. She looked up at Starsky who had a pleased smile on his face. “What the hell is this?”

 

Starsky walked over to her. He opened the album back up. “You didn’t like it?” He pointed to a picture and looked down at it. “I thought this one was your best. I didn’t know you were that flexible. With this other guy it even shows the little mole on your…”

 

“That’s enough! What in the hell do you think you’re pulling here?” Vanessa’s eyes flashed with anger.

 

“You said once we were better matched than I knew and I guess you were right. Just my own little form of blackmail, you fucking bitch!”

 

“Really, you think you can use those pictures to force me to back off.”

 

“Oh, I think I can use them for far more than that. In fact, I know I can.” Starsky walked over to Vanessa and looked at her square in the eye. “You come after me again and I show them to Hutch. You threaten to go to Hutch about how I feel about him, I show them. The same goes if you head to the brass.”

 

Vanessa’s eyes were murderous as she watched Starsky who was well pleased with what he was doing.

 

“Since you’re leaving Hutch, you might as well figure these pictures will show up in court if you try to bleed him dry.”

 

“A big risk you’re taking yourself, Starsky. These pictures show up and Ken will know where they came from. He’ll hate you for it. Even if he doesn’t I’ll make sure he does.”

 

“A risk I’m willing to take, Vanessa. Are you?”

 

Vanessa turned away thinking about her options and Starsky could see the wheels turning in her scheming little head.

 

“I’ve got negatives and two of the flies you’ve got trapped in your web have papers on them. Wouldn’t Hutch love to know about that?”

 

She swung back around and looked at Starsky feeling her fury grow by leaps and bounds. The phone started ringing and she stared at Starsky who walked to answer it.

 

“Hello…yeah…” Starsky looked over at Vanessa. “She did? Yeah, give me a couple of minutes. I’ll be there soon.” Starsky hung up the phone and looked at Vanessa.

 

He walked to the couch and grabbed his jacket. “You know who it was and you know why he called. You’re more than welcome to the album for old time’s sake. Close the door on your way out.”

 

Vanessa watched Starsky head out the door and she spun around. She wasn’t about to let the bastard get the last word. A smile slowly spread across her vindictive face and Vanessa headed into the bedroom. She pulled one of her expensive earrings from its lobe and set it carefully behind a book on the night table next to the bed. Vanessa knew she took a risk. She was risking her alimony by doing so, but if she knew Hutch he would give her a small pittance just because he was that gullible anyways.

~*~

When Starsky walked through the door he found Hutch pouring himself a large drink from the bottle in his hand. He felt the same way and considered doing it as well. Maybe he would. Starsky sat down across from Hutch in the kitchen. He could see the devastation in his friend’s eyes. Starsky wished for the pain for himself so Hutch wouldn’t feel it.

 

“Hutch.” Starsky’s voice was soft.

 

Hutch shook his head staring down at the note. “She just left, Starsk. I never knew it was even coming.”

 

“I’m sorry, buddy. I know this hurt you pretty bad. Maybe it was for the best.”

 

Hutch shook his head in disbelief. “I thought things were getting better.”

 

Starsky watched Hutch take a large gulp of the whiskey. He reached over and took it from his hand. “Please, Hutch. Don’t do this to yourself. It wasn’t your fault.”

 

“Whose fault is it? She hated my being a cop, Starsky. God, we had some horrendous arguments over it. She wanted me in law school.”

 

“Hutch, even if you had done what she wanted, don’t you think she might have left you anyways?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe if I call her…”

 

Starsky felt his heart give at the hope in Hutch’s voice. It was on the tip of his tongue to confess all, but even if it made him feel better, Hutch would only feel worse. “Hey, why don’t you stay at my place? You won’t have all these memories around you for a while.”

 

Hutch looked back down at the note hoping for some reason or understanding. He looked back up at Starsky and slowly nodded. Hutch didn’t move as Starsky stood.

 

Starsky went back in the bedroom packing a few of Hutch’s things. He took his time hoping Vanessa would be gone by the time they got there. He knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t have stayed around too long.

 

He walked back into the kitchen and helped Hutch to his feet. Starsky got him to his old beat up car, and got him in the passenger side. He quickly got behind the wheel of the car determined to help Hutch in any way possible.

~*~

When they arrived, Starsky was thankful to see Vanessa absent from his apartment. He set him on the couch and saw the album still where it had been left. He quickly grabbed it and hid it away from Hutch in hope of protecting his friend from his wife’s malevolent ways.

 

After a couple of minutes, Starsky grabbed the half full bottle of scotch and two glasses. He walked back in the living room and poured them each a glass. Starsky handed one off to Hutch and leaned back with his own. He took a sip and watched Hutch who was staring down at the brown liquid. Hutch finally took a sip. “We had problems off and on throughout our marriage. Just when I thought it was time to call it quits, we managed to pull it back together.”

 

Starsky took a drink and was glad of the burning liquid going down his dry throat. “You both have had your share of fights, Hutch. Maybe the bad was outweighing the good.”

 

Hutch laughed bitterly and took another drink. “Yeah, and maybe I should’ve went to law school like my father wanted. I would’ve been close to finishing by now.”

 

“You said when you took that class in criminology; you knew you wanted to be a cop, Hutch. Do you honestly believe you’d be happy as a lawyer?”

 

“I look back and I don’t know, Starsk. I’d still have my wife.”

 

“Trade one for the other? Don’t sound like you’d be happy either way to me.”

 

“Maybe I should’ve tried.”

 

Starsky leaned forward and looked at his best friend. “Hutch, maybes don’t change how things are now. She’s gone. Do you think she’ll come back?”

 

Hutch shook his head and took another drink. “No, I don’t think so. She said she got everything she wanted whatever the hell that means.”

 

Rather than contemplate the meaning behind the words, Starsky continued. “Well, the way I see it, buddy, she walked out on the best guy I know. It’s her loss and maybe you’re better for it even though it don’t look like it now.”

 

“Trying to find the cloud with the silver lining, buddy? You haven’t exactly been the go lucky guy I’ve known since the Academy.”

 

Starsky took a quick drink knowing the truth behind Hutch’s words. “Come on, Hutch. You know I’ve been having a rough time of it on the streets lately.”

 

“Don’t bullshit me, partner.” Hutch emptied his glass and reached for the bottle. “You’ve thrived on the action. It’s like a drug to you.”

 

Vanessa’s words came back to haunt to Starsky. Rather than answer him he held his glass out for Hutch to fill. Afterwards he leaned back in his chair and watched Hutch refill his own. “Maybe I need a new drug.”

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

 

“I don’t know. Maybe this stuff is already getting to me.”

 

Hutch chuckled and shook his head. “Maybe we both do. If we keep doing this, we’ll see the worst this city has to offer.”

 

“We knew that when we signed up for this job.” Starsky took a sip of the scotch. “I didn’t know what I wanted until it was sat right before me. You did it because you wanted to do the most good in as many places as possible.”

 

“Think you’re a good cop, Starsky?”

 

“Yeah, I think so. I like it, too. It helps knowing I can do more than just write tickets.”

 

Hutch laughed and took a drink from his glass. “I’ve heard that partner of your bitch about your poor paperwork skills.”

 

“When we become partners, Hutch, I expect you to pick up the slack in my cop skills.”

 

Hutch raised his glass in salute. “If I do, you’ll be getting my coffee for me.”

 

Starsky laughed and took another drink. “What are partners for?”

 

They stayed up until they finished off the bottle of scotch bantering back and forth. By the end of the evening, Starsky was thankful for Vanessa being out of both of their lives. He managed to pull Hutch to his feet and drag him into the bedroom. Hutch griped about Starsky giving up his bed to him. Starsky told him that guests always get the bed.

 

When Hutch was tucked in, Starsky staggered back to the living room. He kicked off his shoes and grabbed a cushion. He stretched out on the couch getting comfortable to sleep. As the alcohol induced sleep overtook him, Starsky smiled at the thought of him and Hutch running the streets together. Just them against the world.

~*~

Starsky woke up with a monstrous hangover the next morning. The sun shown brightly through the window and he brought his hand up to block it from his sore eyes. Starsky pushed himself up from the couch to a sitting position. He put his head in his hands in hopes for controlling the hangover raging through his painful head.

 

He slowly stood and made his way into the kitchen. Coffee and aspirin was what he needed and he knew Hutch would need the same once he opened his eyes.

 

In the bedroom, Hutch groaned on the bed. He was sprawled out on his stomach with his head buried face first in a pillow. Hutch slowly pushed himself up mindful of his thundering head. He still wore his clothes with the exception of his shoes. Hutch needed the bathroom and stumbled his way there.

 

He could hear Starsky’s movements in the kitchen and when he finished he headed back to the bedroom. Hutch had to report in to the watch commander in a few hours and he picked up his shoes. He slipped them on his feet and when he stood something gleaming caught his eye.

 

Hutch saw the shiny piece of jewelry sitting on the nightstand and reached for it. He was smiling a bit wondering which woman had left his apartment in a sexual haze. The smile left his face on closer inspection.

 

The earring looked exactly like the set Hutch had given Vanessa for their first anniversary. He remembered he had spent a small fortune on them and looking at this one told him it was exactly like them. Hutch’s mind filtered back to the women Starsky had been seeing over the past several months and he couldn’t think of one which wore designer earrings. He also knew there was no way in hell Starsky could ever afford them on his salary. It was the one and only time Hutch had delved into his trust fund.

 

It took a minute for the truth to soak in. He gripped it tightly in his hand and prayed he was wrong as he walked out of the bedroom. Hutch ran into Starsky who was headed to the bedroom.

 

Starsky saw Hutch’s face and he could see there was something wrong. “Hutch?”

 

“I want the truth!”

 

Starsky could feel the bottom falling out of his stomach. “What?”

 

Hutch held out his hand and opened it up. “Where did this come from, Starsky?”

 

The question hung more like a demand. Starsky saw the earring in Hutch’s hand and he knew. His breath was coming in and out quickly. Starsky was speechless.

 

Hutch could feel his anger and his eyes burning at the lack of response coming from his best friend. “Tell me now!” Hutch yelled.

 

“Hutch, just give me a chance to explain.”

 

A bitter yell escaped from Hutch as he swung his fist. The hard punch threw Starsky back on the floor. He looked up at Hutch who stood over him with his face covered in rage and pain. “You fucked my wife, didn’t you?”

 

The accusation hit Starsky in the chest and he wished for a bullet instead. He could feel his heart tearing in two and the guilt covered him like a heavy blanket almost suffocating him. “Yes.” The admission tore into him as he looked up into Hutch’s eyes.

 

Hutch shook his head scarcely believing the simple word coming from Starsky. He could feel the earring biting into the palm of his hand. “Damn you to hell!”

 

Starsky looked away as Hutch stormed from the apartment. He sat on the floor and leaned back against the wall as the tears fell on his cheeks. The goddamn bitch had given him her last hurrah. Starsky knew he could tell Hutch everything, but what difference would it make? The damage was done and was irreversible.

~*~

Starsky shuffled through the precinct unbuttoning the top collar of his uniform. He still counted the days. Eleven months and sixteen days since Hutch had stormed out of his apartment. It was the last time they had ever spoken and each day that passed, Starsky was forever reminded of the horrific day his best friend learned the truth. None of the rest mattered and Starsky knew it would never justify his own actions.

 

Every time he passed Hutch, he would hope just for a passing hello, but it never came. After three months, Starsky quit hoping for it. The only escape he had was the job. Being a police officer was the most important thing in his life now and he took solace in the fact he was a good one. Starsky made more of an effort on his paperwork and he found himself getting good reviews from his superiors. He really didn’t care what they thought.

 

The desk sergeant called him over and handed him a note. Starsky took it and opened it up. His eyebrows furrowed in question and he headed upstairs to homicide division. Starsky found Captain Harold Dobey’s office and knocked. He heard the command to enter and walked through the door.

 

Starsky was met with a large black man sitting behind his desk. Captain Dobey was a gruff looking man and Starsky wondered why he had been called here. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Starsky’s eyes widened when he saw Hutch standing on the far side of the room.

 

“You’re Starsky?”

 

Starsky turned his surprised gaze back to Dobey. “Yes, Captain.”

 

“You’ve made detective. Congratulations.”

 

Starsky glanced back at Hutch who was still unmoving from his position and gave nothing away. He looked back at the Captain. “Thanks, Captain.”

 

“Hutchinson just made detective also and I need two young undercover officers for an assignment at a local high school. There’s been a huge influx of drug dealing over there as of late. Hutchinson needs a partner and he asked for you, Starsky.”

 

Starsky was speechless. The last person he ever expected to request him in the world was Hutch. He looked again at Hutch who had averted his gaze. He looked back at Dobey. “He asked for me?”

 

“Is there a problem, Starsky? Cause if there is I need to know right now.”

 

Starsky swallowed the lump in his throat and quickly shook his head. He was still in shock and unsure of what to do. “Good, get home and change. I expect the two of you here at one. Don’t be late.”

 

“Yes, Captain.”

 

Starsky turned to leave and he was met by Hutch in the doorway. Starsky moved aside for Hutch to pass. Hutch instead stepped in front of him and met his nervous eye. “I’ll pick you up in half an hour.”

 

Hutch brushed past him and Starsky looked back at Captain Dobey before closing the door. Harold Dobey leaned back in his chair curious about the strange meeting he had just had. From their records, these two were the finest officers in the precinct. From seeing them both in the same room, Dobey was having serious doubts about this partnership making it.

~*~

Starsky slipped his automatic weapon in the holster before putting it on around him. He adjusted the holster around his right side. He sat down and leaned down to put his boots on. Starsky had just stood when he heard the knocking at his door. He paused in his movements knowing Hutch was on the other side. Starsky slowly walked to the door. He opened the door to Hutch who wore his black jacket with white leather sleeves.

 

Hutch walked through and Starsky went to get his watch. “I’ll be ready in a minute.”

 

Hutch observed how Starsky wouldn’t meet his eyes. He stood in the middle of the room noticing how cluttered the place looked. It was not like Starsky to let his place go like this. Hutch could see Starsky had suffered as much as he had in the time which had passed.

 

“Starsky.”

 

Starsky kept his back to Hutch trying to focus on getting his watch around his wrist. “I need to grab a couple of clips from the bedroom.”

 

Starsky started for the bedroom. “Will you stop for a minute and talk to me?”

 

Starsky stopped not trusting himself to meet Hutch’s eyes. “Why did you ask for me to be your partner?”

 

“We made a deal in the Academy.”

 

“Hutch, I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to that.”

 

“I don’t.” Hutch was firm in his reply. “You’re the only one I trust to watch my back and I’ll need it as an undercover cop.”

 

“A lot’s changed since then.”

 

“Starsky, we need to talk about this. If we can’t get this hashed out, we’ll go back to Dobey and tell him to find us knew partners.”

 

Starsky kept his back to Hutch not moving from the spot he felt frozen to.

 

“Just tell me, Starsky. Did you love her?”

 

Starsky wanted to burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all. What could he tell him? _Hutch, I hated that bitch. I only screwed her because she blackmailed me?_

“Hutch, don’t do this. It’s over.”

 

“I need the truth, Starsky. Please.”

 

Starsky could hear it in Hutch’s voice. He deserved the truth, but Starsky didn’t have the heart to tell it to him. He had already hurt Hutch once and he wasn’t prepared to do it again. “Just let it go, Hutch. If you can’t live with it, get another partner.”

 

Hutch wasn’t satisfied with what Starsky was telling him. He walked over and took Starsky’s arm. He forced him around and was taken aback at Starsky’s eyes. They were filled with remorse and Starsky’s face was deeply etched with guilt. “Tell me what happened, Starsky.”

 

Starsky pulled away from Hutch and headed to the window. He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I can’t, Hutch. I’ve hurt you enough and if I tell you, I’ll hurt you again. I can’t bear that.”

 

“It’s been almost a year, Starsky. I’m over Van and as much as I loved her, I wasn’t blind to her faults.”

 

“Hutch, if I tell you, you’ll only hate me more than you ever did before.”

 

“If you don’t we’ll never get past it, Starsk. We’ve got to put our friendship back together. I need you.”

 

Starsky kept his gaze out the window not looking at anything. “No, you don’t Hutch. You don’t need me and you could do a hell of a lot better than having me for a friend.”

 

“Let me be the judge of that.”

 

Starsky ran his hand over his face not wanting to do this. He wanted to run as far as he could from Hutch as possible. He loved him too much to hurt him and he had already wounded him enough.

 

Hutch’s patience was wearing thin at Starsky’s lack of response. “God damn it, Starsky! Tell me why!” Hutch paced back and forth behind Starsky’s unmoving form. “I don’t get this.   How in the hell can you be so damn stupid? I was supposed to be your best friend and the last person I ever expected to…”

 

Hutch’s voice trailed off suddenly and it hit him. He walked over to stand behind Starsky. “You would never have done it, would you? Not in a million years would you have gone after my wife. When I think about it, you hated each other.”

 

Starsky lowered his head slightly. “Hutch, just please let this go. I can’t do this.”

 

Hutch pulled Starsky around hating the way he wouldn’t look at him. “There was a hell of a lot more going on than you sleeping with Van.” Starsky averted his gaze and Hutch moved to meet his eyes. “You have to tell me now, Starsk. I’m onto something, aren’t I?”

 

Starsky yanked away from Hutch and rounded on him. “You can’t just leave anything alone, can’t you? Jesus, Hutch. You know what I did, why are you pushing this?”

 

“Because I know you, Starsky. You’ve got one formidable reputation with the women, but not one of them was married and we were too close for you to go after my wife. You wouldn’t have done it unless you had a damn good reason.”

 

Starsky shook his head not wanting to tell him. He was running out of options and he slumped down in a nearby chair knowing he had to come clean with Hutch. “If I tell you everything, I’ll have to start back in the Academy.”

 

Hutch was confused. Did it go that far back? “I don’t understand.”

 

“Hutch, I’m the reason Colby quit.”

 

“Starsky, I don’t understand what this has to do with anything.”

 

“Be careful what you wish for, Hutch. You’ll get it handed to you in spades.”

 

Hutch sat in the couch across from Starsky and looked squarely at him. “I want to know no matter what it is.”

 

Starsky sighed wishing he had kept up his cigarette habit. “Colby and I were sleeping together.”

 

“What?” Hutch’s eyes widened at the shocking statement. “You’re gay?”

 

Starsky shook his head. “No. I guess most people would call me bi-sexual, but I’m not even sure about that.”

 

“You’re not making a lot of sense here, Starsky.”

 

“It’d take too long to explain the rest of it, Hutch. But needless to say, Colby and I were sleeping together. It was to blow off some steam and have some sex. That’s what it was to me and what I thought it was to him.”

 

“It wasn’t?”

 

Starsky pushed himself up from the couch and walked back to the window. “No, he told me right before he quit he was in love with me. He couldn’t stay because I couldn’t return what he felt.”

 

“You didn’t love him and he hated it so much that he had to leave.”

 

Starsky laughed bitterly unable to believe what he was about to do. “I wish it was that simple.”

 

Hutch waited patiently for Starsky knowing how difficult this was all for him.

 

“Hutch, he found out I was in love with someone else.”

 

“Who, Starsky?”

 

Starsky lowered his head and Hutch stood. He walked over to him. “Starsk, it can’t be so bad that you can’t tell me.” He gently turned Starsky around and saw a tear running down his cheek. “Starsk?”

 

“You, Hutch. I fell in love with you.”

 

Hutch was taken aback by it. He stepped back in shock. Hutch saw Starsky beginning to turn away from him and he stopped him with his hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“You’re kidding? How in the hell was I supposed to do that? You think I wanted to take that kind of risk with our friendship? I care too much about us to put you in that kind of position.”

 

“Van found out.”

 

Starsky nodded feeling more ashamed than ever.

 

Hutch shook his head in confusion. “I still don’t understand why you and her slept together, Starsky.”

 

Starsky licked his dry lips unable to meet Hutch’s gaze.

 

“You mean she found out and used it to blackmail you into going to bed with her!” Hutch could see the confirmation in Starsky’s eyes. “It makes no sense.”

 

Starsky’s eyes were sad when he looked into Hutch’s eyes. “It does when you get a thrill out of fucking your husband’s best friend.”

 

Hutch reached over and grasped the arm of the chair. He sat himself down and took a minute to catch his breath. His mind quickly rewound remembering his marriage. It was crumbling by the day up until a month before Van left him. He remembered their arguments, but they had been tempered with the sexual frenzied lovemaking. “She wanted the excitement, didn’t she?”

 

“Yeah. For some reason it made it that much more exhilarating for her and she was always pushing the envelope with the whole mess. She said it was like an addictive drug.”

 

“I don’t understand.” Hutch shook his head in confusion.

 

“Van would come to me here, at your place, at the station and at other places. Each time we would get closer to getting caught. The bigger the risk the better the head rush for her.”

 

Hutch stood up and looked at Starsky. “You should have trusted me, Starsky. Why didn’t you come to me with this?”

 

“How was I supposed to do that, Hutch? Would you have believed me?”

 

Hutch shook his head unsure of how to answer the question. “I suspected she had cheated on me, but I never imagined she would go after you, Starsky.”

 

“She never cared about me. I’m not even sure if she cared about you either. Van wanted to play a power game between you and me.”

 

Starsky turned away from Hutch hating the look in his eyes. He wanted to drown himself in so much booze to escape the pain he was feeling at that very moment.

 

Hutch thought about Starsky’s words and a sudden realization hit him. He walked over to Starsky and made him look at him again. “Starsky, that last month before she left. Van knew how you felt about me.”

 

“Yeah, she knew,” Starsky said feeling weak.

 

“The times she was playful and teasing when you were around were aimed at you, weren’t they?” At Starsky’s nod Hutch continued. “She toyed with your feelings knowing how you felt about me.”

 

Starsky remembered and he tried to close out the hurt by shutting his eyes. He was suddenly pulled tightly to Hutch’s body. Starsky didn’t fight him and he laid his head on Hutch’s shoulder. He felt Hutch’s hand in his thick dark hair. “God, Starsk. I’m so sorry. If I had known…”

 

Starsky pulled away from Hutch. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Hutch. I should’ve told you the truth about me sleeping with her, but telling you how sorry I felt just seemed not good enough because of what I did.”

 

“You did the only thing you felt you could at the time. I just wished I had seen the signs. She hurt you in the worst possible way by using your feelings the way she did.”

 

Starsky looked down at his hands. “Don’t justify what I did.”

 

Hutch grasped Starsky’s arms firmly. “I’m not. You can start by forgiving yourself, buddy. I already have. You only played a small role in her exploitations of the both of us.”

 

Starsky nodded and he was on the verge of hugging Hutch, but restrained himself. Hutch took his hands and placed them on Starsky’s face. “I want a promise from you right now, Starsky. I want you to promise me you will always tell me the truth in everything no matter what. No matter how badly you may think it may hurt me, don’t hold back from me. Trust me, Starsky.”

 

At seeing Starsky’s shaky nod, Hutch breathed a sigh of relief glad to get this out in the open. “Van could have done a lot of damage with this information with the brass and the judge when she filed for divorce.”

 

Starsky cleared his throat. “I basically turned the tables on her. I got a guy to follow her around for a while. I knew those night classes she told you about was a lie, so he collected evidence and I when I got my hands on it, I blackmailed her into keeping her mouth shut.”

 

“The night she left me, was she here when I called?”

 

“Yeah, she was. It was supposed to be one her more infamous escapades with me, Hutch.” Starsky still felt quite small when confessing it all to Hutch. “I guess after I went after you, she left the earring behind hoping you’d find it. Hutch, I didn’t touch her that night. I swear I didn’t.”

 

Hutch gave Starsky a comforting squeeze of his shoulder. “I believe you.”

 

Hutch walked over to the couch still reeling from the truth he finally had. He looked up at Starsky who appeared better than they had when they started this. “Starsky, come here and sit down. There’s one more thing we have to talk about.”

 

Starsky didn’t argue as he walked over to the couch. He sat near Hutch who turned to face him. “Do you still feel the same about me?”

 

“Hutch, it doesn’t matter…”

 

“You’re feelings matter, Starsk,” Hutch said cutting him off. “I want you to tell me.”

 

Starsky sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I’m still in love with you.”

 

Hutch looked down at his hands. “Does anyone else know?”

 

“Other than who already knows, no, I’ve never told anybody.”

 

“I wish I had known from the very beginning, Starsk.”

 

“What good would that have done? Other than make you run for the nearest exit.”

 

Hutch looked over at Starsky. “You’ve made enough presumptions about me, Starsky. We’re getting it all out in the open.”

 

Starsky sighed heavily. “I wasn’t about to ruin our friendship over how I really felt about you. It means too much to me.”

 

“What does it mean to you now, Starsky?”

 

Starsky stood up and walked over to the window. He turned back around and looked at Hutch. “I’m in love with you, Hutch. I’m not gonna lie to you about it. I’m not naïve enough to believe you feel the same way about me.”

 

Hutch stood up face to face with Starsky. “I’ve been around the block a few times since I’ve been a cop, buddy. A man loving another man isn’t something I’m afraid of. But, you do realize I don’t feel the same.”

 

Starsky laughed quietly. “Oh, I know Hutch. You love me, but you’re not in love with me. Even though I feel the way I do, seeing us as lovers living out our lives together like an old married couple isn’t how I envision our future.”

 

Hutch smiled a bit and watched Starsky. “What are you going to do?”

 

“I want the all American dream, Hutch. I want the dog, the 2.5 kids, a wife, a house mortgaged up to my eyeballs and a white picket fence. I want the whole ball of wax.”

 

“Well, I’m not in any hurry to fulfill that dream, but I don’t blame you.”

 

“I love women, Hutch. Even with me feeling like I do about you, I love having a woman beneath me all soft with curves in the right places.”

 

“Why a man then?”

 

“I guess it’s just some leftover thing from my Vietnam days. We didn’t know if we’d live or die there. Once in a while, a few of us would get together. It was relieving stress just to get rid of all that shit you get bogged down with over there. It was easier that way I guess because we could screw each other’s brains out and go back out in the bush without all the emotions men and women get mired down in. It could get ya’ killed bringing it with you like that. Since then, I hadn’t been with another man until Colby and I hooked up. He saw it in me I guess.”

 

Hutch felt shy for a second and he swung his head at Starsky. “Is it better with a man?”

 

“Not better, just different. With women, you’ve got to treat ‘em with more care when you’re lovin’ ‘em. With a man, you don’t have to be so careful and you can cut loose more.”

 

Hutch smiled a bit looking at Starsky. “Well, I guess that’s enough of my curiosity. You ready to head back to Dobey’s office?”

 

“Yeah, I hope you get a good partner Hutch.”

 

“Hey.” Hutch grabbed Starsky’s arm and looked at him. “None of this has changed my mind about a single thing. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this over the past year. I’ll always remember your feelings even though I can’t return them the way you’d like.”

 

“Hutch, I never expected you to.”

 

“Starsky, I can’t guarantee things will be easy with us, but I’ll always take your feelings in consideration. You’re my friend. You’re feelings are important to me and I would never take them for granted.”

 

Starsky smiled at Hutch thankful for this second chance. He gave Hutch a nod and walked over to the couch. He grabbed his thick sweater and started for the door.

 

“Starsky, who owns that red tomato with the checkmark out front?”

 

Starsky stopped and looked at Hutch. “Hey, that’s mine. Watch it.”

 

“You mean that eyesore is yours?”

 

“Eyesore! Hutch that cars gonna be a classic in a few years. Nobody makes ‘em like that anymore. Just wait. You’ll get inside of her and you’ll feel like you’re at home.”

 

“Nobody’s stupid enough to make ‘em like that, Starsky. Besides, we’ll take mine. It’s broken in.”

 

“Broken into what,” Starsky muttered. “Hutch, lets take my car and then you’ll see how wonderful she is. She runs so smoothly, you’ll think you were in bed with a beautiful woman.”

 

Starsky put the thick sweater on and looked over at Hutch who rolled his eyes. “Fine, we’ll take it this one time, Starsky. After that we’re taking mine.”

 

“Aw come on, Hutch. Let’s at least take turns.” Starsky reached for the door and opened it allowing Hutch to pass first.

 

Hutch stopped in the door and looked at Starsky. “Fine, just don’t expect me to ride around in the death trap too much. I expect you to be flexible.”

 

Hutch walked through the door and Starsky stared at his retreating back. He smiled feeling much better than he had since he had known Hutch. “Hey, Hutch. Have you cleaned out the crate lately?”

 

END


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